Ruined
March 11, 2007I woke up early this particular Saturday to pick up some pants from a nearby tailoring shop. I had these three pants altered. I paid my tailor P180. When I got home I realized that the most important pair of pants was ruined… It wasn’t ruined ruined… It didn’t fit me anymore! What the heck happened!? I asked myself… I compared it with the other pants. They’re completely fine.
Suddenly all my attention was on this particular pair of pants… trousers as what I usually call them. “What am I supposed to do? It’d be impossible to find the same pants.”
All of a sudden I took my camera, mat and several stuffs out. I turned the computer on. I started to type descriptions of some pullovers, pants and a bag. I was planning to list them on Ebay.
My explanation for this behavior is very simple: It’s difficult for me to find a nice pair of pants that would fit me really well- could make me look chic and all. It’s very difficult to find pants that I could “glide in.” Wow… I want to say that again “I glide in these pants… I don’t simply wear them.” I simply know that I really like one when I see one- before I even touch it. And now, my tailor ruined it. He ruined everything. I never wore that pants outside my room simply because I was reserving it for a very special occasion… And now it’s totally ruined.
Two Things I Learned This Week
I learned two important things this week. First, when I ask for something and get it, it’s mine forever. When I ask and don’t get it, it’s never mine in the very beginning. I’m still waiting for the right time to apply that thought…
Second, people stay together not because they forget, but because they forgive. This one I have to learn. I never forget and I never forget. This is just the worst thing about me. I spend my nights thinking about what people did to me and weighing the gravity. And it’s funny because most people who caused me a lot of ache are the ones closest to me- family and friends.
I am vengeful. I guess only one person know that fact. I never stop until I get my revenge… But then “vengeance is not ours, it’s God’s.” Like a guerilla soldier, I attack during the quietest nights and when you wouldn’t expect me.
Of course, I feel bad about myself… I feel awful that I have to carry this burden. Seriously, I won’t stop until I figure out a way how to make her feel what I felt when she ordered me to take back my decision- when that one thing that I was very proud to do was taken from me.
In the end there are still exemptions. People stay together not because they forgive, but because it’s easier to know your enemy first before attacking.
You should watch Indecent Proposal and learn from it.
